7 absurd things about having no coastline

As far as we’re concerned, it is absolutely absurd to go on holiday anywhere without a beach. So in the spirit of boasting about beaches, here are some of the most ridiculous things about having no coastline…

Landlocked Glaciers are absurd

1 – Hill-Walking

Without a coastline you’d have to take up land-based hobbies and recreational activities such as hill-walking. Sorry, what? That’s just silly.

2 – Skiing

Skiing is another activity people do when there’s no beach around. We don’t really understand why you’d choose to be in the snow… but hey ho. Skiing on the beach is obviously a much better idea.

3 – Sunbathing

Sunbathing is problematic in-land. We suppose you could go to the park or an outdoor swimming pool to soak up the sun’s rays, but it’s just not the same, is it. And quite frankly, it’s a little bit weird in our eyes.

Sports on the beach aren't absurd

4 – There are no beach sports

No beach = no beach sports. Where are you supposed to go and play volleyball if there isn’t a sandy beach around? You can’t play volleyball on the grass – you’d get funny looks…

5 – There are no ocean views

Hills and valleys are nice enough, but nothing beats looking out onto a stunning coastal horizon with lovely beach-y sounds in the background. The only way you can hear the sound of lapping beach waves inland is to go to your nearest canal and hope for the best. We can’t have that.

Sand Castles aren't absurd

6 – There are no sand castles

You wouldn’t be able to make sand-castles, sand chairs and other essential sand sculptures. I’ll let that sink in for a minute. What else are we supposed to do with our time, eh? What else?

7 – There are no beaches!

To be honest, we just can’t get our heads around it. We can’t imagine not having a beach to boast about. Luckily we have hundreds of beaches available for your perfect beach holiday.

Can you think of anything we missed to add to our absurd list?


Written on 23rd December 2015 by

Kiran Flynn

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